Ok so I really want to write this down, before I forget all the details, but I'm really forcing myself here. I've lost all interest in the internet, lol.
((Click the pics to make them bigger))
Tuesday 12th May 2009
Woke up in the morning + went to the loo. Every time I'd gone to the toilet in the last 3 months I'd been keeping an eye out for my show. FINALLY it was there, sitting in my knickers. A little blob of clearish jelly about the size of a water bottle lid. I showed Tim + then googled Mucus Plug just to make sure it wasn't some weird discharge. I read out the description I found + Tim confirmed that's that how he would have described it too.
YEY! finally something was happening. That night Tim + I prank-called pretty much everyone we knew + pretended I was giving birth. Little did we know it was going to be very much Boy Who Cried Wolf.
At 10.20pm I was lying in bed playing on my iPhone when all of a sudden I felt a trickle. I did not wet myself! I jumped up, grabbed my crotch + ran to the bathroom, screaming at Tim. Sure enough, my waters had broken. It was only a trickle, but I did what we'd been told to do in just such an occassion + put a pad on. I grabbed my 3 pregnancy books, sat on the bed + then called the Mater Mother's Hospital. I told them the colour ((slightly pink)) how much there was and at what time. They told me to put a fresh pad on + lie down for 40 minutes then call them back. Well we did as we were told + they ended up wanting us to come in so they could see for themselves.
11.09pm I started having contractions, They lasted about a minute and half each time + were almost 5minutes apart! Crazy considering there was no build up or anything to it, just BAM contractions. They were horrible. It felt like intense period pain and everything got really tight. They'd build up from my back and then shoot around and hit the front as well.
We went to the hospital + they hooked me up to the monitor to check the contractions. I HATED being hooked up to thatthing. You have two big things strapped to your stomach, one on the baby's heart + one higher up to measure the contractions. You have to lay flat on your back, and being pregnant, especially ME being pregnant, having 12kg of boobs + belly crushing down on you - it's just not that comfortable!
By this time it's early Wednesday morning and I'm not enjoying anything anymore. They check to see how far dilated I am - 1 freaking cm! 1cm! It's gotta get to 10cm before I even think about pushing this kid out!
They offer me a new thing they're trying where they inkect Saline solution into your back + it's supposed to stop the pain signals to your brain for at least 3-4hours. I decide to give it a go even though they warn me it will be the most excruciating pain I've ever felt. That's fine, I think, anythign for some pain relief. They offer me some sleeping tablets as well to take when I get home, so that by the time the Saline injections wear off, I should be totally out to it.
Should is the key word here...
I sit on the edge of the bed, a pillow against Tim's chest + push my face in it, bearing myself for this hideous pain.
They need two midwives to do this, one is learning + screws up I'm sure of it. It involves four injections, but they do two at once so I only feel two lots of pain instead of four. Well I felt three, but whatever.
WORST PAIN EVER. Seriously! I screamed at the top of my lungs + swore every word I could think of. I couldn't even cry the pain was so intense, just screamed + screamed. They had to wait for a contraction to come, so it would take my mind off it. Well the contraction pain was completely forgotten as I had this white hot searing pain injected into my back.
It only lasted about 60seconds, but srsly, WORST MINUTE OF MY ENTIRE LIFE.
After a bit I could still feel the contractions, but they weren't as bad.
This is what my back looked like after the injections. The blue is the pen marks, the red is the blood around the injection holes + the white is some sort of swelling. They were done either side of my spine.
We leave the hospital shortly afterwards, sleeping tablets in hand. Well you know how the saline solution is supposed to last 3-4 hours? How about 20 DAMN MINUTES? That's right. As soon as we walked out of those hospital doors I fall almost to my knees in another contraction.
The car ride home was horrible, although we did do a quick detour to Maccas to get some cheeseburgers. I felt terrible so I barely ate any of mine.
By the time we get home I really desperately want the sleeping tablets, hoping they'll knock me out.
No they don't.
I spent the entire night writhing around in agony. I must have fallen asleep in between contractions, but they were barely 10 minutes apart and I was in horrible pain. Tim went to sleep on the couch, because we knew it was going to be alot worse + he should get some sort of sleep. Some points I just couldn't take the pain + screamed + howled. In his sleep, Tim chastised me for being so loud because we lived in units. Lol. I was so unhappy I burst into tears tho. I tried everything, I tried sitting in the shower but I got claustrophobic. We called the hospital back but they said there was nothign they could do for me, I'd have to come in in the morning.
So that night was the worst night of my entire labour. Trying to get through to daylight.
Wednesday 13th May 2009
8ish am We grab my labour bag + anything else we can think of + go to the hospital. They take us to the Pregnancy Assessment Unit again and we see a different midwife. I plead with her not to hook me up to the machine, and tell her how much agony I've been in, even with the Saline solution. She is so incredibly nice + asks if I want some Pethidine. Yes please! Any sort of painkiller, ANYTHING. I'm in the Pregnancy Assessment Unit for a few hours while she tries to get someone to give me the injection. It's around 11am that she comes back and injects it into my bottom ((It was either bottom or arm, but I've never had an injection in my bottom so i drop my pants)). It takes a little while to take effect, but when it does I realise I'm in love. I havn't had the feeling of being drunk since Mid-October last year, and this feeling I'm getting from Pethidine is a wonderful one!
Shortly afterwards they take me up to the wards where I get my own room to deal with the contractions. I tell Tim I want my mum, and drift in and out of sleep as tim times my contractions in the room. It's just after noon.
Around 3pm my mum opens the door to my room and I cry in happiness, dad comes shortly after. The Pethidine is starting to wear off, so I ask for some more. They give me more. Tim, Dad + Mum stay with me + talk to me and keep my mind off everything. I have a shower with Tim ((he can't get naked, but we packed his board shorts)) and he massages my back. The shower was good + relaxing and did help.
Betty comes when she finishes work, and it's almost 6 o'clock. They're trying to organise a brthign suite for me downstairs, but some other lady is trying to have a baby there.
6.30pm we get to go down to the birthing suite. It's the one we had the tour in a few weeks ago + is MASSIVE. There's a shower, toilet, massive birthing bath, lots of space + a big bed. There's a little cot with a nappy in it that my baby will be lying in shortly.
EDITED TO ADD:: I'm alert enough to notice that the disposable nappy that is ready for my baby has Winnie The Pooh on it. I HATE WINNIE THE POOH so I put the nappy to the side + replace it with one I've packed. hehehe.
At 7pm I'm allowed more Pethidine. The nurse/doctor/midwife is named Rachel and British. She has her hair in two plaits + is the cutest sweetest thing on the planet. She is so nice to me, and my family. I get on the happy gas too, and breathe into it everytime I get a contraction. It helps alot. During my contractions, my family take it in turns to rub my lower back which is killing me. Soon they have to stop though, becuse they're rubbing the skin off + it's getting bruised! So now mum starts to give me foot massages, she knows Reflexology + it helps alot too.
At 11.15pm the nurse does an internal, has a good feel around to see how dilated I am. It's bizarre, a month before I'd had an internal + it felt like I'd been raped. Now I'd had so many people's latex-gloved hands up there I could actually relax + deal with it. Feels so weird though. After all this time. After 24hours of labouring in agony, and guess how far along I am.
FIVE LOUSY CMS!
I feel like crying, but I'm too tired. The nurse tries to break my waters with that awesome crochet hook ((amnihook)) and they do eventually break completely.
About half an hour after that, my contraction start getting stronger. I can't have any more Pethidine though, since I'm getting closer to the end.
So I labout all night. Somewhere around midnight I wet myself? or my waters break more? I can't even remember. I just remember feeling completely saturated and falling to my knees crying that I've "satched myself". Betty helps me get changed. Lucky I packed plastic bags in my labour bag! She puts my wet clothes in there and puts me in some fresh pjs :D
Thursday 14th May 2009
1am I get a cannula inserted. That's my drip. Now guys, this is the first time I have EVER been in hospital, and the first time I've ever had a drip. Did you know it's a massive needle thing they put inside your hand + KEEP IT THERE? I didn't. I also didn't care, I had Pethidine + happy gas.
I start getting this feeling like I want to push. It's almost like the feeling you get when you want to do a big poo, but it's a bit different. It's like I want to push all my insides out ((or, you know, a baby)). The nurse does another internal + I'm still ONLY FIVE CM DILATED, almost 6. She pops in a catheter too. It's weird. I don't know much about the things they did to me, but I know that I had a catheter until Friday morning, and I had no feelings at all to go to the toilet. It was bizarre.
She decides that if I want an epidural, they should prolly find the guy + get it done now. I say YES EPIDURAL. YES PLEASE. ((Can't say no to painkillers))
1.40pm I get the epidural put in. The nurse says I can only have one, MAYBE two people in the room now, so Dad + Betty leave. I feel so sorry for Tim + Mum, they stay with me the entire night. Tim claims the bathtub as his bed, and mum falls asleep with her head on a desk. It's freezing in the hospital.
The epidural is the weirdest sensation. I roll over + he starts to do something to my back. I have no idea what it is, but it feels like my spine is a giant glow stick + he's snapping it. There's this tiny line coming from my spine over my shoulder + into this thingy that I can't quite see. It's almost like a drip and when he turns it on a little, I can feel this icy cold feeling of it snaking over my body into my spine. It's quite relaxing actually and reminds me of a snake slithering over me ((I'm pretty gone on drugs by now)). The line is so tiny, like fishing line.
2am I can't feel anything anymore. No contractions, it's wonderful! I also can't feel my right leg, although I can move it. When she goes to do another internal at 6am I'm still only 6cm Dilated! She can also feel his hair + lets us know that he's facing the wrong way. He's in a Posterior position, which means his spine is along my spine. I've been what they call Back Labouring this entire time, which explains why my contractions have been mostly in my back.
At 7am Rachel the nurse/doctor/midwife says it's probably a good idea to have a Caesarean section. I agree. My mum had c-sections with both me + Betty, so I don't see it as a problem. Tim gets changed into scrubs + they top up my epidural thinger.
Tim leaves + they wheel me down the halls into the operating theatre. I'm frightened + my teeth are chattering. I've never had an operation before, and this is freaking me out.
Tim tells me later he is in the hallway waiting and his hands are shaking ashe tries not to cry. Because I was raised a Jehovah's Witness, and I still hold alot of those ideals close to my heart, I've made the decision to not accept blood if something goes wrong. I will accept any other blood expanders they have, but not a Blood Transfusion. This scares Tim, and it scares me too, but it's something I feel strongly about, so we stick to it.
They put a big tent over me + a million people introduce themselves to me. One lady talks alot about the colour of my fringe and is really nice. She has Dad's camera + takes photos of the birth. Another guy, I don't know what he does, I think his name is Frank. He stays by my head + talks to me too. It's nice, he's very kind + young. Tim comes in + they put a big tent up so I can't see what they're doing. I lay like I'm being crucified, legs out straight, arms at right angles to my body. They cover my arms + chest in warmed towels, my limbs feel incredibly heavy. They use a block of ice to see if I can feel anything. I do what I always do + lie and say I can feel it. They turn up the epidural a bit more. I just want to be on the safe side!
The doctor's get to work. It feels like they are drawing on me with a pen as they slice open my stomach. I don't tell them, but I can see what they are doing in the reflection of the light above my head. It's red + yellow and makes me feel weird. They tug on this and that and as they pull my baby out it feels like they have my intestines.
They show us him briefly, show us it's a boy. All I can see is this massive red ballsack! Tim looks at me + he has tears in his eyes. I just want to go to sleep! Tim is so happy, I feel like crying remember the look on his face.
Vinnie passes the APGAR score with flying colours. It's rare for babies to get a 10 on it, but Vinnie gets a 9 the first time, and a 10 the second!
They take him away + call Tim over so they can clean him a little + wrap him.
Then they bring Vincent over to me and I finally get to see him. They've put this funny little grey beanie on his head + he looks like a little hobo baby. I always heard that newborns just want to stare at their mother's face, not so with my little man! He is alert + his eyes are darting all over the place. He doesn't really care who I am.
I'm so tired, and can barely hold him on my chest, I ask them to take him away.
Apparently the operation takes 40minutes, but it felt like only 10.
EDITED TO ADD:: I remember smelling burning, and asking them what it was. It was them cauterising my wound so I wouldn't bleed so much. I don't remember, but Tim tells me that the Doctors were talking about how they have to work really hard to stem the flow of blood because I won't accept a transfusion. I'm still here, so they did good (y) :D
They wheel us away to the Recovery Room, but all I want to do is show my son to my family! We have to stay at the recovery room for half an hour as they do some sort of tests and talk. Somehow I remember talking to my dad on the Recovery Room's phone, I don't know how he got the number. lol.
Eventually we get to go, they put us in a private room in the ward and soon my family comes in. They're exhausted, but excited to see us + Vincent.
Vincent was born at 8.30am on 14th May, 2009 ((His nanny's birthday)).
He weighed 3.7kg + was 54cm long which apparently is a bit of a heifer!